


Half a blue sky

by Dimplesonfire



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Elounor, Fluff, larry - Freeform, lilo, mention of ziall, ziam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-18
Updated: 2013-12-22
Packaged: 2018-01-04 23:05:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1086732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dimplesonfire/pseuds/Dimplesonfire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis runs a blog, Zayn helps Liam with maths and Harry works in a bakery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote that in the metro/subway/underground so it's probably full of mistakes and typos and bad grammar. Also please excuse me the lack of vocabulary but english isn't my main language... Considering I wrote that mainly between and 7 and 8am and 5 and 6pm, i was really tired the whole time and I haven't really changed anything since. Let me know if you find mistakes and if you have critics to do, I'll be very glad to have opinions !  
> I don't know anything about the school system in UK or anything about the boys silblings besides their names (i'm not even sure I know all of them and that's probably for the best). 
> 
> Anyway thank you for reading me ! :D

>   **December the 24th - 00:08**  
>  About Love or the life changing day.
> 
> I don't know how long I lived without being in love. 18 years I'll say. My whole life minus one year because for this first year of being alive, I probably didn't know what love was. Or just what different people from my mother and her breast was.
> 
> So eighteen years. That's long. I hope that last year was the last of my love-virginity.
> 
> You might say "Louis you could've said only virginity that would've work as fine" well you're wrong. No I'm not a virgin anymore because I had girlfriends. Yep. I had sex without being in love, judge me jesus, judge me mom, I did it, I might not be very proud of it but I did it. Okay that happened four time.
> 
> This is not like if I was a whore or what. No I did it with my girlfriends (with two of them) and we were protected and we both wanted it. I actually had a lot more than two girlfriends. Guess I have always been the popular with girls kind of guy. But I never was the one putting pressure on girl so they would have sex with me. So two of them only wanted it so we did it. I had sex three times with my fourth girlfriend and one time with my last girlfriend (and current girlfriend) who is my seventh. Okay I have to admit it, I'm kind of a number freak.  
>  So I have experience, if you can call four times so. I mean experience in the physical way because in the feeling way I'm a huge novice. And it kind of scares the shit out of me. What if I never fall in love ? What if I have actually already felt in love without knowing it and waiting for something better to happen and nothing ever shows up and I die sad and alone.
> 
> So I've lived nineteen years and I've never loved anybody. But this is my twentyeth year on earth, this is the first of the third tenth, this is a new beginning because twenty minus three times one and minus ten equal seven and we all know what seven means. It's the time god needed to build the world, seven is the age my last tooth fell out of my mouth, seven is the number of steps between my bed and the window, seven is the day my parents conceived me, seven is the number of girlfriends I've had without being in love and last but not least, you might have already noticed that but seven is my favourite number in the whole world of numbers.  
>  What did I say about the number freak thing ?
> 
> So today I turn nineteen which means i start my twentyeth year. This is a big deal. OK actually still tomorrow for 1minute. 50 seconds. 30. 10. This is is. This is one of the most important year of my life. I cannot fuck up with this one year. Shit. Sorry god Jesus Mary full of grace I'm not swearing anymore I swear. Arrrrgh sorry sorry sorry.
> 
> We're today the twenty fourth of December. This is Christmas eve. How could've I ask for a better time to have my birthday ? I will start this perfect year being a perfect boy giving perfect presents to my perfect family.
> 
> Haha, I just got a text from my best mate " _leeyum : hbd tommo loooooove u bro I'm waaaasteeeeeeed come n kiss meeeee birthday bitch xxxxxxx_ " he is actually wasted. I can see it. I can hear it.
> 
> I am throwing a birthday party right now sorry I haven't mentioned it before. I hear people looking for me but they will never find me. I am locked in my privet bathroom with my laptop on my lap sitting on the toilet seat. WHICH IS CLOSED. God do you think I would be talking to you while.... doing uh... you know what I mean. So I can hear liam yelling my name followed by some girls. Probably Eleanor (my girlfriend) and her friends who just looove liam since he's single.
> 
> I have to admit that since him and Sophia broke up he looks like he's been working out. A lot. And that makes him even hotter than he already was. Hey he's my best mate that's normal I notice those kind of things. I know him so well it's scary some times. He's like my brother. Nobody would be weird to call his brother hot would they ? And I'm into girls anyway. I know what you're thinking. You think that if I'm saying that it's because I am probably gay but hiding it. Well sorry to disappoint you but I'm not. So fuck off. Just kidding, stay.
> 
> I mean, I love liam he would totally be the love of my life if I was into boys. I mean he's perfect and I've wondered if I wasn't attracted to him so once when we were drunk (him so much more than me) I've tried to kiss him. And that wasn't bad you know like he was completely wasted but still his lips were nice and soft and he IS a god kisser even drunk but no. There was no sparkle sor fireworks you know, no shiny road sign saying "you found it mate, this is your type, its a boy and you're gay". Nope, just lips (and ok just a tiny little bit of tongue).
> 
> Oh that reminds me his text. Do you think he might remember that kiss ? He never mentioned it if he did. Maybe that's like drunk memory... well I might need to go out and leave you there. It's my birthday after all and I haven't been drinking ~~enough~~  yet. God close your eyes. Jesus you're invited if you want. A glass of vodka and soda won't kill anyone. I am not the one changing water in wine here.
> 
> Soooooo this was a little bit more personal than usual let me know if you want more or if that just makes you feel very uncomfortable and you want me to go back to before.  
>  Love you all, thanks for always being so supportive and i wish you could all be here with me xxxxxxxxx  
>  Louis. 

So I hide my laptop, behind the toilet seat there's a square of the wall that falls and lives a space just big enough to contain my macbook. I put the square back and kinda maintain it with some toilet paper rolls. I could just leave my laptop here, one a shelf but there's two hundred people in my house right now and I don't think I know more than half of them. They're supposed to be friends of my friends who I trust but better be safe. I don't want to lose my laptop. My entire life is in it.

When I get out of the bathroom its actually not Liam screaming for me but Stan. He is also drunk. Stan and I know each other for so much longer than Liam and I do. When I've met Stan for the first time I was three weeks. And he was four month. See ? Three plus four equal seven. Anyways I used to know every single thing about him until high school. He and his parents moved out so we weren't neighbours anymore and he went to a different school across the town. We couldn't see each other as much as we used to. He made new friends and so did I. I met Liam and we instantly became best friends and there are so many things in Stan that annoy me that Liam didn't do or didn't say... I love Liam entirely. Even in his bad days he NEVER annoys me. Stan, who i LOVE don't get me wrong, in the other hand annoys me very often. Not since we don't see each other that much because now I'm just so happy every time I see him. He used to be like half of me.

So, Stan is shouting followed by laughing Eleanor and friends. He holds his shirts in his hand above his head and his torso is shiny of sweat. I can see he's followed by so many girls. When he sees me he just jump on me saying "HE'S HERE I'VE FOUND HIM" he gives me a sweaty hug. "Mate.... " I whisper "so good to see you".

It's been really long since I have been hugging him. I realize that I've been missing that. His skin is really hot against my finger. I'm smaller than he is so I can burry my face in his neck as his face is burried in my hair. I slightly kiss his neck, licking a little bit of sweat. "I love you mate" he says before going away and he kisses my forehead gently.

His place in my arms is quickly filled by Eleanor. She kisses me very deeply before whispering "happy birthday lover boy... I adore you babe..." as she looks at me in the eyes. Her eyes are really pretty, brown, almost black. She has long and soft eyelashes and they are even longer because of all the mascara she wears. She bites her lips and she is sexy right now even with the smell of bear in her breath. Her hands on my neck she laughs pushing her head back. She has a beautiful neck. I just kiss her on the side of it. Sucking a little bit of skin and pressing my teeth softly. My right hand goes down behing her back to grab her behind and my left goes to her breast. I realize that I am very turned on right now if you know what I mean. Ok I might have already had a few drinks before. "Babe" she whispers in my ear "later ok?" She giggles "too many people around us... later love, later.... " she push me back slowly giving me a little kiss. I hear Stan saying "get a roooooom" as El bites her under lip again. Then she laughs and leave with her giggling friends.

When i go downstairs nobody even notices. Good I don't really like being in the middle of attention (Who am I kidding here, it's true I might be a very little bit disappointed but maybe ninety percent of the people here are drunk and forty percent of it doesn't even know what I look like. I'm sure that at least fifteen percent doesn't even know that this is a birthday party. ~~number freak~~ )

So I just look around to find people I know and I see Liam dancing. He's wearing a white tank top that shows his muscles. His hair is all sweaty and he looks like a Greek god. I'm obviously not the only one having noticed that : he's surrounded by girls. Although, he's looking in someone's eyes very deeply mouth slightly open. This is his seducing face. I cannot see the girl he wants to seduce but he looks pretty into her. I'm not trying to get closer, I leave him with her, nothing seems to be able to disturb him anyways.

I see other people I know with glass in their hands so I decide to go to them. They're from my class. Since it's not been very long since school has started I don't really know them but alcohol helping, we have a good laugh. When I turn back to see if I could join liam I can only see the back of his head with someone's hand in his hair. They are kissing. I can feel a little bit of jealousy in my stomach. Nope, not even trying to hide it. I am jealous because I know that if Liam has found a new girlfriend he will not spend as much time with me as he used to when he was single. I know this is selfish because I spend a lot if time with El too but I can't help it.

Finally I just find myself smiling because I am just happy that he's having fun. I move a little to see more of the girls face. She seems tall with black short hair. Oh. OK. Oh. Uhm. Err. OK. The person Liam is kissing so deeply with a hand massaging hair, has dark skin and short black hair gelled up in a quiff and a two days beard and _IT'S A BOY._ I thought I knew every thing about Liam. Maybe they're just drunk. Well I seem to be the only one shocked by the fact that my best friend is now kissing a BOY or maybe nobody has noticed. It's actually really dark and everyone's drunk and paying attention to their own business. I can see the dark boy's tongue getting out of Liam's mouth. (Ew) They're both smiling. Forehead against forehead they're whispering to each other.

Eventually Liam turns his head and he sees me. His hands still behind the other boy's neck he shouts "BIRTHDAY BOY" with a huge smile. He let go the boy's neck to run to me. Everyone is now looking a us shouting happy birthday. "MAAAAAAN I'VE MISSED YOUUU" Liam's shout before putting a wet kiss on the cornet of my lips. I'm not surprised. Liam can get very touchy when he drinks. He pulls my arm so I can come and dance with him "you have to meet someone ! you'll love him..." he says with a wink. We're now next to the dark skinned boy who's friendly dancing with a very pretty Asian girl I don't know. Liam make the boy turn around and puts his right arm on the boy's waist, the left one still grabbing my hand. He kisses the boy gently on the lips before saying "Louis this is Zayn. Isn't he beautiful ?" He gives a fond look to Zayn who laughs. "Yo mate happy birthday" Zayn smiles and hugs me. "nice to meet you"

_Yeah, mate, same here" I answer. I feel a little bit awkward but the guy seems genuinely nice. "Do you mind if I steel Liam for a bit ?" I ask with a wink. "No probs, he was yours first after all" he gives a peck on Liam mouth "come back yeah?". Liam giggles. God is he a 12 years old girl ??

I pull liam out of the dancing crowd and we go outside, in the garden. The cold feels good on my face. Snow is softly falling. Liam sits on the iced grass. I sit next to him. He takes some snow in his hand and lift it above my head. "Stoooop" I grin. I take some snow and put it in his face. He laughs and we kind of fight, rolling over, laughing. We're now laying on the cold grass. Liam's arm around my shoulders and my head resting on his chest. 'I'm so cold mate" I say. "I'm not" he laughs. "Yeah cause you're completely drunk"

_yeah maybe... come here" he rolls over so he's behind me, like uh spooning. I feel his hot hand on my skin under my shirt pressing on my chest so I'm tied up against him by his arms. "I'm tired" he whispers. I wanna stay like this for ever. He's kissing my neck, sucking the skin, biting it. It feels good though. "I'm gonna have a mark" I whisper. "I know" he answers. I can feel his smile against my skin.

"Man is that normal that I'm giving you hickeys ?"

_Who cares ?"

_Yeah you're right." I'm glad it's to cold for anyone to go outside because it would've been weird. I mean him kissing my neck, his hand under my shirt laying down on the floor. Yeah.

"So who's he?  
_who ?  
_you know, Zayn...  
_oh yeah right. You know I told you I was taking math class after school yeah ? Well he is a student at UNI and he's been helping me in math yeah.... so you know I invited him, he's like a year older than me. I didn't know he was you know.... gay....  
_you.... you like him?  
_... I.... I guess yeah...."

I turn around to face him. Our face are so close that I could just stick my tongue out and lick his nose. So.. you know I do it. He giggles. "What was that for ?

_I'll always love you, yeah ? Like no matter what.... or who....  
_I know.... thanks mate. " and he licks my nose back. We both laugh and decide it's time to get up and go back to the party.

It's just a little bit awkward when we get into the house, holding hand with our wet clothes but nobody seems to notice. I let go his hand slowly. He smiles at me and turn around to head to Zayn. It's getting close to 2am. Almost two hours without seeing my girlfriend. God what am I ? worst Boyfriend ever ? As I look for her I see Liam and Zayn dancing really closely. They look good. Zayn is just a little bit smaller than Liam but he's also skinnier. He wears a sex pistols white T-shirt with holes in it. The white contrasts with his dark skin and his black tattoos.

A few meter behind them I see Eleanor dancing with her friends. I go to her and stand in front if her, dancing. "I've missed you" she says before kissing me. When I open my eyes, still kissing her, I cross Liam eyes who's kissing Zayn. He winks at me and put his thumb up with his hand behind Zayn's neck. Then he closes his eyes and moves his head to kiss Zayn better. I have to admit they look pretty hot together. "Let's go to my room yeah ?" I whisper to El. I feel her hand on my zipper. My skinny jean start to feel a little bit too tight. She giggle "let's go big boy" she grins.

When we're upstairs in my room she starts to unzip my jean and pull it down. It's hot. She pushes me on my bed and i pull off my shirt. Her hand in my boxer, she kisses my chest and suck my nipples. I pull of her dress. She doesn't wear any underwear. "Shit" I say "you're so hot"... her head goes down to my belly button which she licks. I push very gently on her head so she goes further. She starts to lick the head of my dick and then she take it in her mouth to suck it. I can feel her teeth. It's not very pleasurable  ~~at all~~  but she does what she can so, you know I pretend but she'll probably notice if she goes on and... you know, I'm not, hard anymore. "I don't want to come now babe come here" I can feel that she's relieved.

I think that's kinda gross to kiss her after what she had in her mouth but I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable. We roll up so I'm on top if her and I gently go down just like she did. Licking her nipples, one hand between her thighs. I can feel she's really wet. "I don't want to wait any longer please" she begs. So I grab a condom in a box under my bed and pull it down. As I start to get in her she moans loudly. I hope she's not faking like I did. I'm on top of her, her hands grabbing my back and I can see the hickey I gave her earlier. It's already starting so get purple. I wonder if the one Liam gave me is visible. I might need to wear a scarf at church tonight. It's Christmas eve so my whole family does to church at midnight. This is a big tradition. Sometimes Stan's family's joining us. We're always so hangover him and me. Because every year I have a little party like that. Well this one is pretty big.

Oh my god El is so loud. She must be faking it. What ever. I'm almost done. We "come" together and I lay down on her. "You're heavy..." she whispers. So I roll over to lay next to her. I pull the condom off and make a not at the end. There is actually no need to because the condom is empty but she doesn't need to know that ~~nobody needs~~. I'm tired OK ? As I put my jeans back on she asks me "you didn't, did you ? because... I didn't either.  
_I...I'm sorry.  
_yeah me too. Maybe next time ?  
_yeah ..." I can't look at her. I feel bad and I'm a little bit embarrassed.  
"It won't be any next time will it ? It's okay babe." She sounds a little bit sad, though (of course she does, her boyfriend didn't come while having sex with her).

"Well there's plenty of booze to forget that yeah so let's have fun." She adds.

I can hear her smile. I give her back her dress. "I know this is weird but you wouldn't have any underwear I could borrow ?" I laugh "yep it's weird Haha sorry...." but i give her one of my boxer.

"Thanks, it's a little bit uncomfortable to not have anything ya know..." she sits down on the bed, wearing my boxer, hiding her breast with her crossed arms. I kiss her on the forehead "I'm sorry it didn't worked out" I really am. I help her put a dress on because it's really tight. How do girls do that ? "You look amazing you know.  
_you too Lou. "

When we're downstairs, I kiss her gently. She is a little bit surprised but she still kisses me back. We both know it's probably the last time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Yeah, I hope you liked it :) 
> 
> I'm really bad at writing //smut// (elounor ew) sorry
> 
> And I wanted to say that Stan is hot in this story ;)...
> 
> next chapter really soon, I just have to edit it, it's still on my phone... 
> 
> Thank you again for readin :D


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote that in the metro/subway/underground so it's probably full of mistakes and typos and bad grammar. Also please excuse me the lack of vocabulary but english isn't my main language... Considering I wrote that mainly between and 7 and 8am and 5 and 6pm, i was really tired the whole time and I haven't really changed anything since. Let me know if you find mistakes and if you have critics to do, I'll be very glad to have opinions !  
> I don't know anything about the school system in UK or anything about the boys silblings besides their names (i'm not even sure I know all of them and that's probably for the best).
> 
> Anyway thank you for reading me ! :D

> **December the 24th - 14:38**  
>  Regrets - No regrets
> 
> Guys. Oh my god. I just woke up. You're crazy. Already so many views on my last post. I can't believe it. So much love.
> 
> Ok I will keep doing that, I guess then. You love secrets revealed uh ? I have to say that I've lied to you, I already had a few drinks. Now this will explain the title of this post. I might just slightly regret what I posted. Sorry guys but back then, it seemed like a wonderful idea but actually I don't think reveal to you how many times I had sex or the name of my girlfriend was such a good idea. And I'm so stupid I didn't evin think about changing the names. Well what is done is done. So I will quickly sum what happened after the post. First that was Stan shouting because Liam was way too busy to do that.
> 
> Yep, my best mate is not single anymore, sorry girls. But anyway you would've not had any chance because we're three in my bed right now, SLEEPING OK YOU CREEPS I'M NOT INTO THAT (Sorry you're not creeps I love you) and the three of us have the ability to grow a beard without being the main attraction of a circus, if you feel me.
> 
> I was surprised first but hey, he's a grown up, he does what he wants.
> 
> Theeeeeen I broke up with El. Yep I just outed us on the internet and we're not even together anymore. But this is still a secret. Like it's not official yet. We kind of agreed but we were a little bit drunk. Got I hope she remembers. Ahah awkwaaaaard.
> 
> So the party ended around 6am and Stan, Liam and a few other friends stayed to help me clean up. They left and Liam, his new _friend,_ who apparently lives pretty far from my house, and I went to bed at 8am.
> 
> I am now lying down on my bed and I'm sooooo hangover. I heard my parents coming back ten minutes ago. Liam snores.
> 
> Sorry if this post is really short compare to the last but argh. Hangover. And typing on my phone.  
>  I love you guys so much byyyyye xxxxxxxxxx  
>  Louis

 

My arm lays on Liam's bare chest. It's not the first time we sleep in the same bed but we were always just the two of us. And right next to Liam there is Zayn. In MY bed. Of course they didn't do anything sexual or what. We were just soooo tired, the three of us just fell asleep right away. In the same bed. Which is big enough, thank god.

I can see Zayn curled up against Liam's side. Liam's skin looks so white next to zayn's tan. Zayn is still wearing his jeans. I have my sweatpants but Liam only wears white boxers. I wonder what it would look like. A beautiful and (almost) naked boy between two other shirtless boys. I know what it would look like. But hey Jesus shut up yeah.

Zayn is pretty handsome too. He has very long eyelashes and a little red mouth, and cheekbones probably carved by god himself. Both his arms are covered of tattoos. He's my age but he looks older. Very mature. When he's awake I mean because right now he just looks like a cute little boy.

I run my fingers softly on Liam's warm skin. He turns his head and open his eyes. "Hi sleepy head" I whisper. He smiles and closes his eyes. He yawns. Zayn moves a little bit. Liam opens his eyes wide. He looks completely panicked. I grin even though I should'nt, I know that, thank you Jesus no need to remind me I'm the worst friend ever. "Don't remember ?" I ask. He shakes his head in sign of no. ~~This is gonna be funny~~.

I sit down as he slowly turns to see who's curled up against him. I can see an awkward look in his eyes but he still seems happy, kind of. In a very scared and uncomfortable way. Slowly he sits down and show me the door, asking me to come with him so I can give him explanation. Zayn contracts his eylids like a very bright light was bothering him but stays asleep.

When we're out of the room Liam shouts in whisper, if it's possible "WHAT THE FUCK IS ZAYN FUCKING MALIK DOING WITH US IN YOUR FUCKING BED ????" I can't repress a laugh. "Mate.... you've spend the night with your tongue in his mouth…  
_I DID WHAT ????  
_shhhhhhh you wanna wake him up ?  
_shit shit shit shit shit...."  
Right now, Liam look genuinely scared. He slips against the wall so he can sit on the floor. "Mate my heaaaaad" I sit next to him and put my arm around his shoulders.  
"Do you... regret it ?  
_fuck.... yeah.... I.... no.... fuck. .... I regret that I don't remember... fuck.  
_maybe he doesn't remember either.  
_that's not fucking funny dude. "

Actually it is but I'm not gonna say it. Instead I just say "Lee, I broke up with El.  
_WHAT ???  
_Ahah well uhhhh she gave me a teethy blow job and uh yeah.  
_and you broke up  
_NO NO NO not because of that but you know we weren't made for each other you know....  
_god mate you're gonna have to tell me exactly what happened last night. Minutes by minutes. God Lou did El ate your neck like that ? ewwww she's what, like a vampire ?"  
I can't repress the little bit of sadness coming to my stomach but I try to forget it. I grin "no actually you did it.  
_shit sorry mate. "

we both laugh. I'm still laughing but Liam stopped. I look at him. He's face is completely red. He's looking at Zayn who's standing against the frame of the dorr, looking at us with sleepy eyes. "Oh my god" I hear Liam whispers. So I stand up and say to Zayn "good morning mate, I'm gonna say hello to my parents, you guys have a nice chat !" I hear liam saying my name like he wants to kill me. I leave them.

Downstairs, I turn back and I can see Zayn sitting down on the floor next to Liam. I hear some whispers. I could understand them but if Liam wants me to know what they said he'll just tell me later. I'm such a good friend (Actually I'm not because I know he will tell me anyway and IF he doesn't I'll make him).

In the kitchen, my mother and my sisters are already cooking for tonight (christmas eve yeah). When I step into the kitchen one of the twins jumps on my back while the other one jumps in my arms. "LOUIIIIIS" They shout. God that hurts. But I'm happy to see them. My mother smiles and tell the girls to go play in the living room because she needs to speak to me. "So how was the party ?  
_great... yeah... great.  
_I was surprisingly happy to see that everything was almost clean.  
_yeah, some friends stayed to help me.  
_Late ? Or maybe I should say early. Actually I'm not sure I wanna know...  
_yeah... no... I don't really know what time it was..."

Actually I do know because at 07:07 Liam stopped me of cleaning to give me a kiss because he was spinning a bottle on the floor and it had fell on me. I remember that because, you know 07:07 like. And because it was my favourite number and we were all tired of cleaning and Liam was funny we just all sat down and played spin the bottle. We were ten people, twelve maybe. Anyways I think I've kissed every single one of those twelve people at least once. Yep, Liam, Stan, Zayn, Danielle, Katie, Hannah, Marcus, Tanya, Zoe, Tyler, Louise and Troye. Yep twelve people. And I might have kissed Zoe with the tongue because you know, she's reeeeally nice to look at. Yeah Jesus I know, my promess about only dating someone I love. I KNOW. so yeah we've been playing spin the bottle until almost 8 o'clock with an empty bottle a vodka. But my mom doesn't need to know that.

"So is Liam still in bed ?  
_uhh I don't know... Actually there is this other guy who stayed with us ,you know because he lives pretty far from here... it one of Liam's friend.  
_oh ok, don't worry Boo, do they stay to have lunch with us ? It's getting late, the girls are hungry.  
_I don't know, I'm gonna see if uh.. they're awake. "

I climb back upstairs. They're not in the corridor anymore and my room's door is closed. I am very curious but NO I won't try to listen. I'll just go take a quick shower so I will have to come into my room to get clean clothes. As I get into the bathroom I remember my laptop, behind the toilet. Sitting on the seat CLOSED I open the macbook to check on my blog.

> **December the 24th - 15:29**  
>  GUYS WHAT DO I DO the sound of my heart beat hurts because of hangover.*

I have so many comments about how much they love the new way I write. I have a few "hate comments" but I don't care. They're always here but surrounded by hundreds of good comments. This is nice. Nobody knows that I write on the internet and the readers don't know it's me. Maybe someone who knows me could figure it out, because of my friends names and stuff but I don't think it will happen. I'm not THAT famous and most of my readers are teenage girls anyway. I think half of them doesn't even live in the UK maybe even more. I should ask them.

> **December the 24th - 15:35**  
>  Hey guys could you like this post if your living in the UK and reblog if you're not ? And also could you comment with a flower if you're a boy and a plane if you're a girl and umh in the same comment put a arrow down if you're under 15 and an arrow up if you're more ? Thanks guyyyyys love youuuuuuu xxxxx  
>  Louis

I can already see the answer. OK many people are living in the UK. But less than what I've expected. God only the third of my readers are British ! And as I expected a lot of .... flowers with an arrow up ? What ? 

> **December the 24th - 15:37**  
>  Guys please comment just once AND DONT LIE thannnnnks this is important to me :P

Oh so almost half of my readers are boys ? And a lot more than half of all are above 15 ? God who would've expected that ?? Anyways, it's time to take my shower. I close my laptop and get rid of my sweatpants. I just give a quick glance to the mirror. I'm pretty fit I think. Maybe I should work out a little bit because I could use more abs and less tummy but apart from that I like my body. I think I'm too short but unfortunately, I can't change that.

Under the warm water I think about last night. Liam, Zayn, Stan, Eleanor, Zoe... this was a nice party I think. I don't remember any fight, which is very surprising considering the huge amount a people, and not too much of throwing up I think. No big break, nothing stollen... yup it has been a fun night.

As I wash my hair I wonder what is happening in my room right now and I can't wait to get out of the bathroom to find out. I wrap up myself in a huge towel and walk to my room. I knock and Liam answers "Louis ?  
_yup it's me. Can I come in ?  
_what ? Yeah, mate it's your room after all"

On the bed, Liam with all his clothes on is laying next to Zayn who's still bare chest. "You guys wanna eat with my family ?  
_no it's okay" Zayn answers but Liam nods "yeah why not.. come on Zayn stay. We'll take a cab together after"

Zayn smile before asking me where he could brush his teeth. I show him the way to the bathroom "you can use my toothbrush, if you don't mind, I won't" he laughs a little. He _is_ really cute. Back into my room, I drop the towel to put some boxer on. "God mate, hide yourself, have a little respect for me, I'm all hangover..." Liam says with a grin. I stick my tongue out at him "don't pretend you don't like it". He throws me a pillow in the face and we both laugh.

"So.... everything's all right ?  
_ yeah... I guess so. I just don't remember anything about last night but maybe I don't want to remember. But no I want to. So well we're gonna take it... slowly you know. Like for me I haven't really kissed him yet. I mean properly...  
_what ? So you've been snoging on my bed ? " I grin.

"Noooo Lou shut up. It's all new to me, the kissing boys.  
_new ? Ahahah ! And me ?  
_I mean... orrrgh I mean liking boys you know... that way... " I hug him

"You know, last night, I've told you I would love you no matter who you like yeah ? I don't care... BUT DONT START LIKING JUSTIN BIEBER !  
_What does it have to do with me liking kissing boys ? anyway, I love you too mate. For real. Oh god. This hickey Lou, it's huge. Did I really do that ? When ?  
_ yup, you hungry zombie. "

We're both sitting on my bed when Zayn comes back. "So I used you toothbrush... err I've washed it after don't worry... like really well.  
_no probs mate. "

I tell them to follow me to meet my family even though Liam know them already. Like I said, he's like my brother. Zayn again is a little embarrassed.  
"Hey err I've lost my shirt, Louis.  
_it's okay you can borrow one of mine, here.  
_you're a generous one, mate"

I stick my tongue out at him. "Yup, maybe even more than what you think" I don't know what that means but the three of us laugh as I pull a T-shirt out of my closet for Zayn. A red T-shirt with a big round collar. It fits him really well, to be honest. I can see in Liam's eyes that I'm not the only one thinking that. As Zayn was pulling it on I'm ninety percent sure that I heard a tiny moan coming from Liam's mouth. I never thought I would say that. Liam is just so good with girls. Everyone loves him, but girls.... they worship him. Once i heard a girl saying that Liam was just "sex on legs", I had found it so funny but I think Liam was a little bit upset. He's just so nice as well, he didn't like to become one of the boys girls admire for their looks but don't care about anything else. But I've seen Liam into a girl. Like not literally INTO the girl, god. But when he likes a girl he's so... I don't know so soapy but very manly in the same time.

I never thought my best friend had a gay side. OK maybe I knew. I was enjoying it even a little bit. That's not the first time Liam gives me a hickey you know. Every time we're drunk he gets a little touchy and you know we cuddle a lot. Also one of his 'secret' favourite movie is Notting hill with Hugh grant and this actress with big botox lips. is it angelina jolie ? I don't remember. I'm bad at remembering stuff like names, or cities or German vocabulary (I'm good at french though). That's why I'm still in high school at nineteen. I'm just bad at remembering. And concentrating.

So now we're heading to the kitchen. And just right now I'm wondering if Zayn is Liam's boyfriend. Because last night you know, they were pretty close and pretty decided you know.

When she sees liam, my mom flushes and just goes for a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She looooves Liam. Then she hugs Zayn "so you're Liam's friend ? Welcome to crazy land ! Have a seat boys ! GIRLS LUUUNCH !!!" She pinch Liam's cheeck gently "it's been a long time Liam ! Like a week ?" He giggles and Zayn gives him a fond look. "Is that your T-shirt honey ?  Cause It looks nice on you zayyyyn " She winks. I love my mom. Zayn giggles and it's Liam's turn to give him a fond look. They look really cute. I grin at Liam, he realize how he's looking at Zayn and his face turn instantly crimson. I mime Liam's look at Zayn exaggerating a lot. Liam's lips forms the words "fuck you" but he can't contain his smile.

 

> **December the 24th - 23:47**  
>  Merry Christmas - happy twentyeth new year
> 
> I'm at church right now. Stan is asleep next to me. No wonder why. I don't even know how am i not sleeping too. The priest is talking about how Jesus saved everyone's life. Even as a baby. I know that, i hear it every year. I wonder if Jesus had a girlfriend. Maybe he was gay.
> 
> So I will finally tell you why i asked you if you were a boy or a girl and all that. It turned out that half of you are boys ! I always thought you were all girls sorry. and the biggest part of you by far lives out of UK. This is amazing truly ! I wish i knew where each one of you comes from. You can comment saying it if you want.
> 
> I've almost never been out of UK. I know this is lame. But this year, yup i'm travelling. It's my senior year so i will have a lot of work but that also mean I'll have the biggest holidays ever when school's over. God I'm waiting for summer so bad. Last summer was awful. My grand-dad died and we had to take care of my grand mother. Not because she was sad, no, but because my grand-dad didn't leave her anything. He gave almost all of his monney to charity. I wish I could say he was selfish because he didn't give us anything but he gave it to charity ! the guy is a saint. Well maybe he did some bad shit in his young years si he was just trying to make God forgive him at the very last moment.
> 
> Anyway, back to grandma. I don't like her. She was horrible with me because she thought that i was too short and that i should've gone to a military school to teach me how to be a man. Yup I'm not manly enough for her. She is persuated i am gay because she saw me sleeping in the same bed as Stan when we were like 5. And she thinks i steal things from her. So yeah sorry if i don't like her. I always pretend i have things to do when my family goes to visit her. And this year, i have escaped the Christmas visit because of my birthday party.
> 
> We usually go after Christmas but Madam is going to Bahamas with her boyfriend. Yup, she is as fucking old as Jesus's grandpa, but she still finds a way to get laid. Oh gross. I DIDN'T WANNA PICTURE THAT.
> 
> Haha Stan's face when i will wake him up by whispering "your nana getting laid" god that'a harsh. So whatever. Stan snores. I'm writing this as it comes to my mind yeah ? Sorry if it's all messy. so MERRY CHRISTMAS GUYS OK not yet but sooooon.
> 
> By the way I think the priest is gay. Sorry.
> 
> And for this whole new year that starts for me I have decided to be the best guy ever. No more sex. I swear. Not until I'm in love. I'm such a romantic guy. You know you girls are dreaming about this prince charming ? Well I do the same. With a princess. This year is going to be my best year. I'm going to work at school and outside school. Yup for real. Lazy days are over. If I wanna travel I'll need money. And don't count on my Nana to help me. I should be nicer. I won't sin anymore. Promess.
> 
> Guys, I love you more than anything.  
>  Merry Christmas  
>  Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
>  Louis.  
>  PS: I read every comment. Accacia, love, stop sending me gifs about blowjobs. I'm a saint now. And you're twelve. 

"Your Nana getting laid with the pope" I whisper to Stan's ear. He jumps. "Shit man you scared me !  
_it's ending soon, mate. You snore by the way.  
_no I do not.  
_you do. " I stick my tongue out at him. "You should be ashamed. Sleeping during the midnight mess.  
_Hey, I saw you typing on your phone Lou, some gay and fuck and shit, mate. I saw it. So dont try to play all church choirboy on me."

Shit. What did he see ? Maybe he just saw some shit about gay Jesus. I hope so. What would i do if he knew about my blog ? I have been writing things about him. And for a while now. Like how sometimes he just annoys me so much. How he plays this hipster character at school and this chav with his "friends" from the street. Those punk-asses, dealers and crack heads.

I feel like he's just someone so different when we're only me and him. Maybe because we're so close. But he changed. He changed a lot. We used to be almost the same person. He was funny and weird and we could understand each other just by looking at eachother. I know it sounds so cliché but it's true. Well it was true. We could have some weird laugh about almost everything.

But it started to fade when we started middle school. We weren't in the same class anymore and he had new friends. the kind who takes themselves so seriously, like they were some knid of rebels and i'm pretty sure they had a gang name. The kind i'm not friend with. Middle school was kind of a rough time for me. It was the first time me and Stan were separated and if he seemed to deal with it, I couldn't. I have been bullied. Because I was good at school and lonely. So I just stopped working and i ended up not passing to high school. Stan had to repass too because of his new "friends". They had draged him down and he wasn't going to school every day.

This second year of last year was better. I knew the program, and there was new people and I had my first girlfriend. I was pretty popular this year. Stan moved out in the middle of the year and we just lost contact for a few month. When i started high school, I thought it was the time to just reconnect with my all time best friend. He wasn't the guy I had grow up with anymore but he wasn't either the "bad boy" he was in middle school. I think he just got more mature and more confident. I had missed him for so long that i still was happy that we could still get along but soon I just replaced him with liam. I can't help my smile when I think about liam. He's the best thing that ever happened to me.

" _To leeyum : man you're the best thing that ever happened to me. Merry Christmas love. Xxxxxxxx_

 _From Leeyum : awwww Boo....  <3 you too sunshine. Merry Xmas ! c u soooooon i miss u already xxxxxxxx_ "

"Man, have you seen Liam with this dude last night ? he looked pretty into it ya known.  
_yup he didn't remember a thing this morning.  
_shit... so is he... like gay ?  
_dunno mate... he was pretty wasted.  
_who do you tell that to Haha.... but... if he is.... gay you know... I think it's cool yeah. He likes who he wants to yeah .... that's nobody's buisness like.... you feel me. I'm totally OK with that yeah ?  
_yeah mate you should say that to him though, not to me... but I totally agree."

Sometimes, I really like Stan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, god. next chapter tonight too, I think, if I'm brave enough to edit it.
> 
> Also my Tumblr is http://dimplesonfire.tumblr.com/
> 
> Thanks for reading :D


	3. III

 

> **December the 25th - 8:12**  
>  Happy birthday Jesus - why so early  
>   
>   Hello my little internet fellas MERRY CHRISTMAS !! My sisters just woke me up because my parents refuse to get up until everyone is awake and the breakfast is ready. It's kind of a tradition ya know. So the girls are downstairs making pancakes, I guess, and it just feels like Christmas. Can you believe that I'm nineteen already ? OK I'll just shut up about this. Sorry guys. Let me know in the comments what presents did you get and I'll write something longer later.  
>  Love you Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
>  Louis.  
> 
> 
> **December the 26th - 12:14**   
>  Apologizes - on bread duty
> 
> Guys I'm so sorry. I have been with my family all day. Will you forgive me ? Also I read all the comments and Jim, mate, a year-free pass to Disney world is the best present ever. Like man I wish I had one.
> 
> I'm really sorry guys like I have been feeling so guilty. But I was with my family and nothing's better than being with my family. My dad was there and he's not been at home very much lately because of his new job so I was enjoying being with the whole family you know.
> 
> Right now I was supposed to be at zayn's house having lunch with him and Liam because I think Liam is still a little bit afraid of you know the whole boyfriend thing. But as I was like almost there when Zayn called because he needed bread. I bet he just wanted to be alone with Lee a little longer haha. But anyway, he told me there was this very good bakery at two bus stops away so here I am, in the bus on my way to the bakery.
> 
> I am so bad at direction I could get lost at tesco (I ~~do get lost at tesco~~ ) So i'm pretty sure I'm going to get lost, you'll see. Anyways I think Liam and Zayn are cute you know, Liam told me that they act almost like before, when Zayn was only his math help and friend. Zayn studies Enlish and Maths at UNI, he wants to be a teacher in primary school. So he's really good at maths so to get some money and practice on teaching, he just gives help to teenagers who are crap at maths, like liam.
> 
> Like. He's my age. And he helps people studying. I FEEL SO BAD ABOUT MYSELF RIGHT NOW. I could help people with... football ? Like little kids maybe. I don't even know. With writing I guess. Well I'd need to be a good writer. Am I a good writer guys ? No, I'm dumb, nobody needs help to learn how to write. And I'm am the worst speller ever. I don't even know how I would manage to write without auto correction. Maybe sometimes it fucks up a little but it helps me a looooot.
> 
> I think I have to get off the bus now. OK, guys I'm already lost. Zayn told me to go straight then right and right again. Where straight ? Left or right straight ? Shit. Let's go left. It would be too many right you know just right right right, that never happens.
> 
> I feel like I'm in the middle of nowhere. The same houses everywhere. How am I gonna find the bus stop back ?  Oh god I think I can see the bakery. Very loud music come from it. how do they have customers ? The neighborhood seems dead. OK so in the bakery there is a boy singing  using a french baguette as a mic. He must really not have any customers. What should I do ???? He shakes his head like a rock star would. His ayes are closed and he's grabbing the french baguette so tight. He is so focussed on his singing. He kind of looks like a little boy, with all his curls shaking and his blue apron. But he has a man'x voice. Well almost. It's deep and raspy.
> 
> " _I get the feeling I left it too Annotatelate but baby_ _Snap out of it"_
> 
>  I think it's the Arctic Monkey . He looks so funny and he hasn't seen me yet. Should I just stay here until he notices me ? I have some stalker issues.  But I need my bread. 

 

"Hello ? Er hi"... He stops suddenly, the french baguette breaks in his hand and half of it falls on the floor, behind the counter. He looks so scared. The way he looks at me makes me feel like I'm the devil in person. There's an awkward silence.  "That was really good, you have a great voice" I try to smile.

 "I'm... I.... I'm sorry... I.... god.... what..... uhm.... what an impression I did yeah..... god... shit.... what erm what can I do for you ?" His face is crimson. He is so embarrassed I just wanna hug him and tell him it's okay.

"No it was really good... Arctic Monkeys right ? well uh I'd like uh...." what did Zayn said already ? All I can hear in my head is the raspy voice and I feel like butterflies in my stomach "erm I don't remember what he asked.... give me ... this one and uh this one... and uh... a mic ?  
_what ??  
_ahah sorry man, I meant one of those french baguette."

His face turns even more crimson if it's possilble as he turn to the breads but I can see that his eyes are smiling (Who am I ?? Tyra Banks ?), they're shinning like little stars on his face. 

"So you like The Arctics Monkeys ?" I'm a little surprised he actually spoke but glad he's less embarassed. "Yep, you were singing the new album right ? It's really good...  
_please never remind me that you caught me singing, god I'm already so embarrassed..... but yes it's the new album. That'll be it ?  
_yeah thanks. " I pay him qnd before leaving I add "you were really good mate, I can assure you" I grin and he sticks his tongue out at me "shut up or I'll believe you" I give him a wink and leave for good.

When I turn around a last time, he's still in the same place, a little smile on his face and he waves at me before disappearing behind the counter.

 

>   
>  So guys I'm just coming out of the bakery. The boy was so embarrassed ahahahah ! Now I'm just walking and guys, I think I'm lost again. I've been walking for two minutes maybe but I can't remember where I come from. And all these houses look identical ! Maybe I'll try to walk backwards to retrace my steps. I think I can hear the music from the bakery ! I think I'll go back and ask the boy where is the bus stop . Anyway, I'll talk to you later guys.  
>  Boys and girls I love you very very much xxxxxxxxxxx  
>  Louis. 

  
The music. I'm just following the music. It will lead me to the curly boy. And to the bus stop. Because the bus is my goal. Not the bakery. At the end. What I am talking about ?

It's not the same song _._

_"And your heart's against my chest. Your lips pressed in my neck"_

This one is sadder.

_"And with a feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now._ _Kiss me like you wanna be loved"_

 I'm just next to the bakery now. But he cant see me so i could just stay here until the end of the song. I can't see him either though. There is something special in his voice. He's really good. He sings seriously now, like earlier he was just having fun.

I just try to appear slowly so I don't surprise him again. I want him to keep singing but I'm like attracted to the shop. Whatever. I'll go.

As soon as he sees me, his face turn crimson and he stops singing.

"Sorry to bother you again but I think I'm lost.  
_and I keep embarrassing myself. I just made a promess to never let you catch me again singing to a french baguette. I guess I lost already...  
_no this time it's my turn to be embarrassed... I just can't find my way to the bus stop.  
_it pretty simple, though... you go right and then the first you take left and then the second street you take uhh no the first again. Did I say first ? Wait i meant second. Uhhh wait. ... so over again wait... oh I cant remember but you know I just grew up a few blocks away, I can show you but telling you like that... sorry  
_no it's okay I just call 'em to say i'll be late and they should send the police maybe....  
_mate look nobody's here, I'll close one second and take you to the bus stop yeah ?  
_thanks that's really nice of you but don't ... if some customers shows up and your amazing bakery is closed ? What would they do ? Of someone need bread more than anything ? They could DIE..." he come out of the shop and locks the door behind him.

  
"Well for my defense, I'll say I was rescuing a lost kitten....  
_I am supposed to be the kitten ??" he _is_ the puppy here.

"It sound way more heroic to say I was saving a kitten than a fully grown up man....  
_I just turned 19 two days ago...  
_I mean in comparison to me who's a 16 years old teenager. Man I was just trying to save your dignity. "

I stick my tongue out at him. "Thanks, love, you're so caring...  
_I can leave you here too, if you want.  
_we're in the middle of nowhere, you wouldn't leave me here, superman, would you ?"

He's taller than me so he looks down at me and pats my hair gently... I should be embarrassed because I hate when people remind me that I'm smaller than the average. I don't know why but I feel like it's nothing patronizing in what he just did. He's so sweet I feel like he couldn't mean something not nice. I know that I've known  him for 10 minutes, I know. We walk silently. It should porbably be awkward but surprisingly it's not. The air is really cold and I breath into my hands to warm them up.

"You're cold?  
_you're not ?"  
He giggle and pulls a pair of leather gloves out of his pocket. "Take 'em I don't need 'em." I don't know what to say. I have just met the guy and he's giving me his gloves. I am probably never gonna see him again but his smile is to genuine that I take them. "You sure ?" His smile gets bigger and his dimples wider. he lifts his chin up and recites heroicly "I am a superman, I do not fear cold and I'd rather die than let someone get hurt"

I can't help a laugh. I put the gloves on, they're warm from the boy's body and it feels really good on my frozen hands. I can see the bus station. I don't know if I am disappointed or really happy. As we get to the little shed, the bus is arriving.

"Well thank you very much...  
_it's OK, I was happy to help. See you around mate.  
_yup sure. " I get and the bus and see him starting to walk away. Than I remember and ask the driver to open the doors again. He sighs but does it. I am the only one in the bus beside an old sleeping lady and I don't think it bothers her at all. I get off the bus and run to meet the boy. He hears me and stop and turns back. When I reach him, I see a surprised look on his face and I smile. He smiles back, his dimples appearing and his eyes shinning.

"I have forgotten something.... Yeah erm , give me your cell number... so I can give you the gloves back.  
_you... you just have to come back to the bakery I mean ...no ...give me your cell I'll write it." I give it to him and he types his name and number before giving it back to me. "Here.  
_thanks again !" I shout as leaving him. He smiles and I run back to the bus. I don't even know his name. How am I going to find it in my phone ? As I scroll in my contacts I see one name that pops out and I know it's him. It says : *<3 Harry, my beautiful savior I shall love and respect (and call)* this is so cute. I'm smiling at my phone. I try to call Liam.

"Lee ?  
_yup ?  
_I'll be there in ten OK ?  
_...  
_Lee ?  
_yeah yeah OK lou. see you soon love I miss you. " I hear him giggle "Zayn stop. I should be thrilled but I feel a tiny bit jealous. I don't know if it's because Liam is with ZAYN or because he is WITH Zayn. Do you get the difference ? I do. But I'm still jealous and I don't know of what.

The gloves the boy, harry I should say, gave me are a little bit to big for my hands. They're kind of old and they have been used but the leather is still good. They're obviously good quality. Why did he give me those gloves ? I notice on the black leather the shiny mark a cross drawn with black pen just above the thumb. It's hardly noticeable so I wonder why did he do that.

Harry.

Harry.

This name makes me smile. "Harry" I whisper. I must look like a huge weirdo, whispering names, I hope nobody heard me. I want to laugh at the name. Harry. Not that it's funny, I just... need to express my smile out loud. Oh, I thinks this is where I have to get off the bus. Zayn's house is just around the corner. It's a tiny house, squeezed between the other houses. It's tiny but it's a house. He live here by himself and he even has a small garden full of flowers. It's really cute. ~~It also seems to me that it's very gay but what do I know~~.  I knock on the wooden door and I here foot steps and giggles. Liam opens the door and instantly hugs me "Lou shit I've missed you.  
_Two days without seeing me and you're already dying." I answer with a smirk but truth is I've missed him probably even more than he did. I mean this guy is my second half. "Mate, you're like the second half of my body." Yes I know, my brain is very close from my mouth. My face is still buried in his neck. He kisses my forehead slightly and whispers "love ya too Lou." Than he steps back and smiles wildly "come Louis, meet undrunk Zayn.  
_I actually feel like I already know him. You've been talking so much about him. " Liam's cheeks redden even though it's not _really_ true.  
"Is that true ?!" I hear Zayn from the kitchen. He is cooking, hands in some sticky dough. "Sorry mate, I'm kinda busy with my hands right now so let's do that the french way"

_what?_  

he kisses both of my cheeks hands up avoiding touching me. "Ahah man I though you were going to French kiss me !" I say, relieved. He laughs and he is truly beautiful. I look at Liam. He looks so fond of Zayn, admiring him. Zayn sees that Liam is looking at him and gives him a quick peck. Liam's so surprised I start to laugh. He is also very red now. Zayn goes back to his cooking, smiling. He is obviously proud of provoking Liam's reaction. "Liam, hon,  you can show Louis the rest of the house while I put this in the oven, if you want"  
Liam nods and turns back and I follow him. "Hon ?" I whisper in his ear, grinning. "Yeah... " I can see that he is embarrassed which was not what I meant him to be. "You're really cute both of you.  
_shut up..  
_no I mean it, man, you look so happy whenever he says something... it's really sweet.  
_I don't know... I guess I like him you know.... like... a lot... I guess I liked him before but i didn't know... I guess.. I mean it's so normal like.... nothing changed but the fact that he kisses me like.... more often.  
_MORE OFTEN ??!  
_shuuuuush shit.... yeah... i .... you know like... we kissed like.... twice and you know.... I ran away the first time you know it was like a month ago. But then like a week ago, I was tired and you know .... he kissed me when he left after the class and I kinda... you know kissed him back and I kinda forgot to tell y-  
_YOU FORGOT ??!  
_ I mean I was really tired and it just slipped out of my mind until like yesterday morning. I guess I was scared of how you would react you know....  
_YOU WERE SCARED OF HOW I WOULD REACT ??!  
_man will you stop repeating my last words ?  
_Liam I am a freacking part of you okay ? You can tell me everything about you, I would never judge you. NEVER do you hear me ?  
_I know love, I know..."

I hug him tight, his hands in my hair, I feel tears in my eyes. I love him so much.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for what follows, I just can't write this kind of stuff...  
> Also this is a Ziam chapter and probably the only one.  
> Sorry again.  
> 

**Liam**

Louis is leaving soon and I'm starting to get nervous. Shit. I love him but I've wanted him to leave for the past two hours to be alone with _~~z...~~_   _him_.

Actually I want Louis to stay now, i'm nervous to be lonely with... _him_ again. Plus It's dark now. It's the night. I don't know what it has to do with it, but I guess it sets an ambiance... Shit. I'm shaking with fucking butterflies in my stomach. Shitshitshit.

Do you know what night means ? Shit night means sleep which means bed which means fucking ... well _fucking_ I guess. UGH. No I'm not ready. I love kissing with _him_ but for god's sake, I can't even say his name _in my head_.

I feel like i'm blushing just thinking of his fucking name. We're on his couch, watching a football game. Louis and _him_ get on really well. I haven't been watching at all. I mean _he_ has his fucking hand around my hip. One finger under my shirt touching my skin. Just one freacking finger and I feel like I'm melting. I haven't been able to focus on anything else than this for the past hour. Sometimes, He turns to me and smiles and FUCKING Butterflies seem to like dubstep in my stomach. I notice that the game is over, the boys are talking about it while finishing their beers. They're having fun but I have absolutely no idea what they are talking about.

"...right Liam?"

Both of their looks are on me. What do I have to answer ? Zayn's gaze is burning me. I wish he didn't have those long lashes over those brown eyes I could drown in. 

"Uh yeah sure...  
_I knew it ahah, Liam are you okay? you haven't been paying attention to the hundreds last time I talked to you.  
_yeah Lou, m'alright just, tired you know..." Louis frowns, worried. Than, his face light up and he grin and I don't like that _at all_.

"god it's already that late ?? I should totally go man." Louis get up and _he_ smiles at me ~~(fuckfuckfuck is he even real ?? am I still here ?? I feel like an ice cube on a spanish beach)~~ before following Louis. I get up too. In the corridor, Louis is putting his jacket on "you should totally come back dude, this was great" _he_ hugs Louis who pats his back, manly "sure mate". I follow Louis outside, bare feet. I close the door behind me so I can speak to my best friend, you know, alone.

"Thanks for... being here you know...  
_it alright Li, Zayn's great...  
_I'm scared Lou" I burry my face in his hair. It smells like strawberries.  
"You don't have to do anything you're not ready for yeah ? If you need me just call and I'll be right here, even if it's the middle of the night. Even if I was sleeping or whatever OK ? Just call.  
_thanks... I should go back I guess...  
_I love you Liam.  
_love you too."

We separate and he walks to the portal waving at me. "I call you OK ?" He nods and I head back to the house. On the couch, _he_ is sitting, texting. Some background music's on, some kind of rock I guess I'm not very into music besides what Louis puts on my iPod for me. "Jeez it's freezing outside."  _he_ heads up. "C'mon " he pats the couch beside him, asking me to join him. I sit, and roll up against his side. He put's his arm around my shoulders and kiss my hair.

"I wanted to do that for so fucking long Liam, just fucking take you in my arms..." I turn my head to look at him. Slowly he cups my face and put his soft lips on mine. I love that. I don't think I've ever liked to be kissed that much. It's not even a real kiss, I mean it's just lips on lips but it's still million times better than any kiss I've ever had. The kiss becomes deeper. His mouth tastes like beer and crisps and sugar and I want it never to stop.

One of his hands is now on the small of my back, slowly getting under my T-shirt. I'm nervous but it's the best nervosity ever. I put my hand on his stomach, feeling his muscles under the thin fabric of his shirt. He's so hot. I put my hand under the shirt and I feel his soft and warm skin under my fingers. I feel his abs and god I though I was into boobs but compared to abs, boobs are nothing. I make him pull off his shirt and since we can't kiss for a little moment I take time to look at him. He's smiling, he seems amused and I can't help to flush.

"You're not the only one who wanted to do stuff for so long" he giggles.

"I never knew you were thinking like that about me" I wink and whisper. " I didn't knew I was aloud to think those things until not long ago" when did I get so confiddent next to him ?? He giggles before kissing me again. we roll up and he's on top of me. He helps me to take off my T-shirt and stands there looking at my chest. "God shit Liam I knew you were beautiful but seeing you like that fuck that's hot " I pull him to kiss me "shut up" I whisper, embarrassed. He giggles and kiss me passionately. I can't help a moan as he rubs our hips together and even under the two layers of jeans I can feel his buldge getting harder. I notice how tight are my own eans. I feel his hand trying to get under the waistband of my jeans.

Shit.

".... I ... I can't Zayn fuck... I.... shit..." I avoid his kisses.

"It's okay love, just tell me what's wrong.  
_nothing I... I don't know... it's... it's too fast... I can't...  it's not you... it's me....  
_We don't have to do anything you don't want OK ?" We're almost sitting now. I'm so embarrassed. He must think I'm like a virgin teenager. ~~whitch I kinda am.~~ I wanted it to go on but I'm scared. I'm scared and I don't know what scares me.

"You wanna watch a movie ?  
_i'm sorry.... z... Zayn..." shit I want to kiss him and his raspy cheeks and stroke his hair and feel his skin and his..  his _~~you know~~_  ... Why am I so embarrassed about saying it ???   
_it's okay li, it's normal, it's all new to you. We can just... cuddle OK ?  
_I want to kiss you... Zayn. I want you... but...  
_I get it Liam you're not ready. I told you, we don't need to, I can wait. Now c'm'ere."

I roll up against his side. Against his bare chest. My head resting on his shoulder. One of his hand is stroking my hair gently while the other one rest on .... his crotch. "Shit Zayn I'm sorry.  
_what for ? " he follows my gaze and laugh. "It's okay Liam, I can handle it. If you new how many times I had to restrain during our classes. God, remember this time when we went football and you were all sweaty and you jumped on my back and we fell?" He laughs at my red face "man I thought this was hard to contain. I just wanted to push you on the ground and roughly make out with you.  
_you should've..." I whisper, giggling.

I remember this day. I knew also why we had been falling very quickly. I provoqued the fall because I was scared he could feel how _happy_ the feeling of his back between my legs had been. I was so glad I had been wearing sweat pants because it was easier to hide _it_ than it would've been in tight jeans. Thinking about it like this, I don't get it how I could've not know I was kind of gay. Or bisexual at least.

"You're so beautiful" he whispers in my hair. I turn my head to face him "you are even more." I roll up so I'm on his lap, facing him. His chest against mine feels so warm I snuggle my face in his neck and start to kiss it. I love his neck. I go a little down to kiss his neck bones I hear him moan "Liam shit..." one of my hand is is his hair and the other one on his flat and muscular stomach. As I go downer I see his tattoo above his nipple. I kiss the inked skin and lick it. He moans louder and I can feel the hardness in his jeans, against my own. I suck and bite a bruise on the tattooed skin. I notice how my hip are moving back and forth against him. I look at his face, he's panting, eyes closed. His hand grip tightly the fabric of the couch. I go up, to kiss back his neck and his lips, my hips still rubbing against him. "Liam ... I... shit I'm coming". His hands are now on my back and my hair. I move faster and he follows my moves, as the kiss gets more desperate and passionate. I think we come around the same time, moaning louder than I've ever moaned. I feel sticky in my pants. I kiss him a last time before falling next to him, breathing loudly. We're both sweaty and he looks like a fucking Greek god. He looks at me, smiling "i ... we need a shower..." I giggle and look at my sticky stomach and pants. "Yup...  
_you wanna come with me or you want some privacy maybe and go ahead ? I can take my shower after...  
_no I mean like you prefer... maybe no go first... yeah... I have to... rest.  
_ you sure ?  
_yeah yeah go."

He gives me a peck and go upstairs in the bathroom. A few moments later I hear water falling in the tubes in the walls. I'm a little bit embarrassed. He wanted us to take a shower together. God. I don't know.... I'm not ready for him to... I don't know... see me. I'm stupid I know because.... shit. Did we just ... have sex ? Does... erm... rubbing against each other still clothed counts as sex ? We were bare chest and kissing and erm... sharing orgasm so I guess yes. Oh my god maybe he thinks I suck at this because .... maybe he thinks I'm such a kid because I came without him even touching me. He did too though. I never did sex with a boy, how am I supposed to know what I should do ?

Sex with girls is easier. You don't have to think, you just _go_. Well you're never sure if she actually really liked it, i've read that a women fake a orgasm like erm ... a lot. But "sex" with Zayn was... hot. Because his chest.. and eyelashes... and hands on my hair.... and tatooooo....  oh god already ? Just fucking thinking about him turn me on and I already have a half hard. I'm sure I could take care of it really quickly before he comes back. I put my hand in my pants. Zayn. Ugh even his name.... Zayn.... his... chest..... shit his hair and oh God...

 

**Zayn**

When Zayn gets out of the shower, he's still shocked how quick he came just Liam moving against him and kissing him.

He looks at his reflection in the mirror. Just above his tattoo, the one under the right side of his collar bones, he can already see appear the purple mark left by Liam's mouth. He brush it softly with his fingers and smiles, thinking about how Liam had been scared and then one minute later he was so desperate to touch zayn's body.

It had been a few month since Zayn had figured it out that Liam maybe wasn't _that_ straight. The boy looked at zayn ways he maybe himself didn't even knew.

Liam was hot, one of the hottest student Zayn had ever been teaching maths to.

The first time they had met, Zayn had fell for the strong but shy and soft young man. He had been thinking about kissing Liam for a long time and when he had found the right moment he knew Liam would reject him, but he also knew that the thought of kissing him again would make his way into his brain and when they would kiss again, he wouldn't reject him. And that was exactly what happened. Zayn knew all of this because he had been through this too. The embarrassment,  the fright, the doubts, but like Liam, he had understood that it wasn't a bad thing.

Zayn was 13 when he had kissed a boy for the first time. Well, when a boy kissed him. It was Niall, his all time neighbour and first boyfriend. Niall was two years older and the sweetest boy ever. Niall was openly gay since the day he was born. He had been kissing boys even before he first went to school. He had been dressing in his mother clothes and wear her make up.

Niall was playing football at school and nobody ever bothered him in the locker rooms because everybody loved Niall. He was this mix between the cliché of the popular boy, sportive and fun and smart, and the cliché of the gay boy, very feminine and sensitive, having a lot of girl friends and whistling at other guys' behinds.

Zayn was not so lucky. He had always been kind of a misfit, hiding behind his black hair and long eye lashes, always at the back of the class, drawing or writing. He had the best grades without even studying and some people hated him because of that. So when some kids of his school had caught him kissing Niall, he had been beat up and bullied. When his parents had discovered the bruises all over his body, they had made him transfer school to go to Niall's one and everything had changed. They were the most loved couple in school but Zayn was scared that it would happen the same thing as in his old school when Niall would leave him to go to college. When he did left, they broke up because Niall was going to study in America and none of them was ready for a long distance relationship. Niall also said that Zayn needed to meet new people and to get more experience. He was only 15 after all.

Contrary to what he was scared of, zayn's popularity didn't dropped as soon as Niall had left. Maybe he was more lonely but he never got bullied for what he was. He had gain self confidence and became more and more secure about who he was. He knew that it wouldn't be as easy for Liam because he was way older and Liam had never really suspected or believed his "taste" for boys.

But now, Liam seems more comfortable and Zayn is actually surprised it was so fast. He thought it would've been more difficulties, he thought Liam would reject him but no ! He even initiated it ! And Zayn can't stop smiling, thinking about it.

With a towel tied up around his hips Zayn goes downstairs to tell Liam he can go take a shower, but Liam seems.... busy.

First, Zayn hears moans and heavy breathing and he sees Liam on the couch, eyes closed, head back, a hand in his pants. He's panting and whispering "yeah ...yeah" . Zayn feels, under his towel that he's getting hard. At one point, Liam's hand shakes faster and stronger in his pants while he whispers "Zayn...." and zayn can't ignore his own lust anymore. "God this kid..." he whispers. Liam doesn't hear him. He's reaching his orgasm and comes all over his stomach. Zayn quickly go back upstairs and pretends he's just getting out of the bathroom, casualty getting down the stairs. liam is still sweaty, he holds his T-shirt  rolled up in his hand that he probably used to clean himself up. Red cheeks he says to zayn "uh are you okay ? I can uh go ?" Zayn nods, still having the vision of this shy boy who was just one minute ago jerking himself up thinking about him. zayn's towel his hanging lose on his hips and he can see Liam's gaze from his bare hips and chest to a really quick look at the T-shirt still rolled up in his hand. Zayn can't help a little smirk. When liam walks in front of him to get to the stairs, zayn slaps gently the younger boy's butt. Liam jumps a little and make a little giggle. Zayn's heart flutters a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, i'm really bad at writing smut and this is not even proper smut. I'm sorry again.  
> I hope you still enjoyed it, and thank you for reading :D


	5. Chapter 5

> **December the 27th 9:26**  
>  Kicked out by art- my ears are burning and my brain leaking.
> 
> Who the hell got the idea to buy a f****** set of drums for Fizzy as a Christmas present ??? I bet it was grandma. That b*tch. Her main hobby in life is to ruin mine. Fizzy in the other hand is thrilled. You bet ! She has been asking for this since she knows it's actually called music to hit stuff so it'll make noises. Well it's called music when you know how to play it. And fizzy definitely doesn't. She is supposed to start classes in January, when schools starts again. I can't wait for her to know how to play or else I'm not going to survive. She's just tapping and hitting trying to drum roll all day and NO I can't anymore. My ears are probably bleeding and I can already feel my brains retracting on itself inside my head. So here I am, at starbucks, it's 9am and I'm am up and out of my bed. GUYS I AM UP AND OUT OF MY BED. So obviously my hair was awful so I wear a weird beanie I found under my bed. I think it's Liam's. It says "Batm.." and the rest has disappeared so I guess it's really old. It's also a little bit to small but at least you can't see my gross hair. And I'm literally in my PJs. Well it's sweats and a T-shirt, but still I am at Starbucks, where hipsters live and I'm wearing PJs and an old beanie reading "batman". But I was cold and tired and I can't believe there's a line for a damn tea at 9am. Oh it's my turn.  
>  love you guys  
>  I'll probably write more later this was a little boring sorry IT'S 9 FUCKING AM AND I'M OUT OF MY BED .xxxx*  
> 
> 
> **December the 27th 12:25**
> 
> Hiya :)  
>  Sorry for the last weird post. So I'll fill the gap between 9am and now because preeeetty interesting things happened... so I ordered my English breakfast venti and then I realised I had no money because I left home like a thief taking only my shoes (which I'm freezing in. Seriously who, apart from me, is stupid enough to wear toms when there's snow on the ground??) and my denim jacket (which I'm freezing in too).
> 
> So yeah, no money. And I was so embarrassed because I was already holding my tea and when I have me tea I WON'T LEAVE IT sorry.
> 
> But then my savior has appeared. Guess who works at Starbucks during holidays to pay for a gap year traveling around the world ? Yup, Zoe. So the adorable girl took the guy I was talking to's place and she gave me my tea for free. I think she might like me a little bit ;). So she went on her break so we could chat a little and she sat down with me. She is really funny and I really like her. We really have a lot in common. For example, she also has this dream about visiting a lot of countries and her favourite number is 14 which is twice 7 and sorry but this is a sign.
> 
> Also she is really pretty. She has this long brown hair and blue-greenish eyes and dimples when she laughs and a really nice laughter too. She has really long legs and sometimes she reminds me of an old time friend but I can't figure who. Zoe is also very sassy and I love that. We've been laughing a lot. Her colleague had to come to get her because she had spend an hour more than she should've not working. So after that, I helped her making drinks and her colleagues are really fun and we ended up fighting with whipped cream.  Eventually we managed to clean everything up and I helped, i swear. Normally i would've not helped but i have to admit I wanted Zoe to like me. I really like her. We're going out tonight, so I can pay the debt i owe her for the tea. I guess it was a date until two of her colleagues decided to come with us. But its gonna be fun.
> 
> I have to go now, I have lunch with my family and Stan's. Maybe Fizzy will have stopped playing her ode to Satan. Bye guys i love you.
> 
> Esmeralda I love your name and your message was really nice, Sstixxz45  I haven't, but I'd be glad to, send me a link ! Edward, I wish I could meet you all too, maybe one day we'll gather and we'll do a huge picnic ! But for now, I'll just be Louis, the guy from internet who tells you his life you read like the creeps you are ;) I'm joking of course, i love you and I'm so happy I can share my boring life with you.... i still don't understand why, but I'm so happy you enjoy my crappy writing about my crappy life. Talk to you laterzzzz xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
>  Louis.  
> 
> 
> **December the 28th 02:41**
> 
> GUYZZ IM GOIBG TO PARUIIIS FOR NEW YEAR EVE CAN YOU BRLIEVE IIITTTTT I GI WITH ZOEYYYY ITTTSS MY DREANNM I KOOVE HER ILOVD YOUY SO MUCH MAUVE I COULD MDERT ZONE OF YOU THERE SHSGSGSHAHAH YOULL KBIE MY FACE THDN DO MSYBD NOT EDWARD YOUR NOT FREBCH SRE YOY XXXXXXXXXXXX*  
> 
> 
>  
> 
> **December the 28th 14:23**
> 
> OK I've just seen my last post and I'm ashamed. I knew it wasn't a good idea to save my passeword so i don't have to type it every time I want to log in my blog. Maybe I wont keep it saved, I don't want to post something I'll regret.
> 
> Fortunately, I didn't post a picture. I was probably too wasted to even be able to add a picture. Well I'm glad i didn't post any of the numerous selfies i have on my camera roll. I even have one of me hugging a toilet seat. Gross. I'm glad that half of you are over 15. Sorry for the other half I might shock. I have a lot of pictures with Zoe and her colleagues. I didn't see any where I'm kissing anyone, and when I'm taking selfies I have tendencies to take selfies in every single situations and I'm such a white girl but when I'm drunk and having a selfie-mania-moment, I just love taking pictures of me kissing people. (was this understandable ? I'm way too tired toto rephrase that)
> 
> But  visibly, i didn't break my rule about not kissing or dating anyone who I'm not in love with. Also I have no loving text from Zoe (or anyone else) about me being their new boyfriend so i guess nothing happened.
> 
> Well when I say nothing happened ... I'M TOTALLY LYING because guys my last post was true. I AM FUCKING GOING TO PARIS FOR NEW YEARS EVE !!! I'm am so excited I'm jumping on my bed. Which is a terrible idea considering I am deadly hungover.  So yeah basically, Zoe was supposed to go to Paris with her two best friends, who are twins, but one of them broke her leg a few days ago so she can't go because she is in a wheel chair and it wouldn't be fun. So now, Zoe has one ticket she doesn't know what to do with and she asked me if I wanted to come with them since I told her I've never been to France and it's one of the countries I love the most and _mon petits amis je parler france tel un garçon france et Zoe aime moi quand je sauver elle du mechant homme france_. You guys use Google translate if you wanna know what a perfection I just said.
> 
> Maybe you'll think it's weird that she asked me since we really know each other since like a week but we are together at school so we know for like four months and I think we really clicked. I mean she is the funniest girl I met and oh gosh I just realised I broke up with Eleanor four days ago and I had completely forgotten. Maybe I should call her, I mean we're still friends, aren't we ? Actually she doesn't need to know I'm going to the most romantic city in the world with another girl. It's going to be with her friend too so it's not like it was some kind of couple-y thing.  
> 
> Well, my parents still need to agree but I don't have to pay anything yet since the train and hotel are already paid. well i'll have to pay uh Sam back because the poor girl had to give up her trip to FUCKING PARIS OMG sorry so the least I could do is to thank her by giving her money back. I'll ask to my parents later and I will find a job. Yes Jesus I will. Well, my little fellas, I'm going to be really nice to my mom so she'll let me go to PARIS OMG. I still can't believe Zoe asked me to come with them. Anyways bye guys, I love you so so much xxxxxxxxx

 

I close my laptop. Sigh. My head huuurts. Maybe if I stay in bed all day it will stop... but I have to get up. God it's already almost 3pm. I have to clean my room. Mum has been asking me to do it for weeks and if I want her to agree for the Paris (OMG) thing I have to do it. And I have to be nice. I wonder why Fizzy's not "playing". Maybe someone got tired and killed her. Or gave the drums back to the store. Maybe the cut her hands so she won't play. Meeh I'm sure she could still manage to play with her nose. Or feet.

Come on Louis. Get up. My heaaaad. I'm looking at the pictures I took yesterday. Oh god, I can't even remember all of that. There's so many pictures of me with Zoe. To be honest, I do really like her. She's can pull really ugly faces for such a pretty girl. I like the fact that she doesn't care what people think. Yesterday, when we were fighting with cream and ice and milk in starbucks,  she didn't care about her clothes or her hair (like Eleanor would've). She is so real and completely insane in the same time. I wonder why we weren't close already. I'm glad I got to know her better. I'd really like to fall in love with her. Her skin is really soft and her hair too and she smells like pastries and chocolate and tea. Not a heavy musky perfume (like the ones Eleanor wore).

Oh, Liam's calling. Ugh even the buzzing kills me. My heaaaaad.  
"Hiya, tommo !" I hear him shout happily. Tooooo loud.  
"Too loud liam" (what did I tell you about having a really small space between my brain and my mouth ?)  
"Hangover ? Again ??  
_Leeyuuumm. Please... if you keep shouting I'll just hang up...  
_OK man, but you shouldn't drink so much. And so often. And without me. Wait, why wasn't I invited in the fist place ?  
_I don't know mate, maybe because you're too busy snoging _zainypoo_.  
_...  
_Lee ?  
_… have you been sneaking into my phone ?" What ??? Oh my god, Liam is so cute.  
"You're gross to be honest, mate." I hear an embarrassed laughter.  
"I'm joking Louis." He's _so not_ joking.  
"Anyway, why do you call me in the first place ?  
_Cause I was missing you. It's been two days..." Oh my god what did I do to deserve such a cute friend like him ?

"I missed you too.  
_No you didn't, you went drinking without me and you didn't even text me.  
_I'm sorry but you didn't text me either so I guess you were kind of busy too ?" ( ~~shoving your tongue in zainypoo's throat~~ ) "when did you see him last ?  
_uhm...  
_Oh my god, Liam you're with him right now ?  
_yes, Louis please I need you.. that's why I was calling you...  
_Troubles in Paradise ?  
_What ?? No of course not ! He went to tesco to buy eggs. But please don't be mad at me.  
_Why would I be mad at you ?  
_he... he asked me to spend new years eve with him and I know we always spend new year's eve together but he wants me to go to London with him !! His sister has a flat there and she's going to Spain with friends so she leave the flat to Zayn and he asked me to come with him and I'm sorry I'm sorry Louis ..."

I'm a discusting best friend. Jesus, please forgive me.

  
"...You know Zoe ? Well she invited me somewhere and _of course_ I was going to turn down her invitation but since you can't spend it with me I guess I'll go...  
_You actually already agreed, didn't you ?" Damn, the guy knows me.  
_well you're letting me down too." I pout.  
_It will feel weird not being with you...  
_well, at least you'll enjoy the kiss !  
_So will you !" I can almost hear him wink.

"Actually no because we're going with a friend of her...  
_then you'll have two kisses ! What you're going ? Where ?" OK this the moment. I hope he won't hate me. Although Liam is pretty crappy in french class. _l_ _e caca_  I'd even say. So I whisper "... to Paris...  
_Paris ? That's great man !... oh hi baby !... me too!" I hear kissing noises.

"EWWWW gross ! Liam !" I hear zayn  laughing and Liam giggling. _Giggling_  !! Am I supposed to watch my best friend turning into a twelve years old girl ??  
"Sorry mate, Zayn's back-  
_I heard.  
_-so I'll leave you ! I love you and I miss you !! We have to meet before you leave OK ? So you can tell me everything about Zoe ! Bye ! Love you !!  
_wait, Liam ? You've been at Zayn's for the last three days ?" But Liam has already hang up.

You do not hang up on Louis William Tomlinson. I'm just going to call him back.

After three rings he finally answers.  
"Rude man!" I say. But all I can hear on the other end is panting.

God.

Oh dear god.

"Never mind ! Call you later ! Love you bye!"

Did I just ...?

Were they ...?

WHY ??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :D don't forget to let me know your opinion on this story :)


	6. Chapter 6

> **7 December the 28th 20:54**
> 
> Mom agreed. _Maman dit oui_  
>   
> 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **December the 29th 10:02**
> 
> Two days to go - I'm drowning in happiness
> 
> I guess the title says it all. If some of you guys live in Paris, I'm sorry I won't be able to meet you, because every second of the trip is literally booked. But I'd love you to tell me if there's something I should definitely see or visit, I'll submit the Idea to Zoe. Maybe then, if you have enough of a stalker soul, you'll be able to see me...
> 
> Well, I have to play perfect boy and do groceries shopping for my mom and then I have to do the cleaning because she takes my sisters ice skating if it has anything to do with it. Ask my mom, I don't know but if she says so there must be a relation between the two facts.
> 
> Love you guys more everyday.  
>  Xxxxxxxx Louis.

  


Paris. The most perfect city in the world. Well I guess so since I've never been. But all I ever wanted was to go. I might have seen a lot of movies happening I'm Paris. I mean _Funny Face_ was just perfect. Maybe they sing a little bit more than in reality but who cares.

I texted Zoe to get the details and apparently we're living on the 31st at 5:30am so we're in Paris around 8am. We unpack and have a little tour. Our hotel is in a nice place, she told me. I hope so. Since it's  pretty expensive  
We only stay one night but we have two full days because the train back is at 11pm on the 1st.

I can't wait. I am completely obsessed with this trip. I already looked for metro plans and god it sounds complicated. Well maybe not as complicated as the London's underground. (I've been only a few times to London OK not my fault I'm not a big city person).

I wonder where mum left the groceries list. How am I supposed to do without a list ?? I'm gonna call her.

Oh.

Harry's number.

I had completely forgotten about the boy and his leather gloves. I've been wearing them though. They're in my denim jacket's pockets. Maybe I should give them back to him. Should I call him ? Or text him ? He did tell me to call him. Well he did write " _< 3 Harry, my beautiful savior I shall love and respect (and call)" . _This guy is the biggest dork I've ever met, I'm not even joking. Well I should call mum first. Right mum. The groceries. I'll call him after, on the way to the supermarket.  
  
Apparently the list is on the fridge. Oh my god how am I going to carry all of this stuff ? I'll find a way because mum agreed to pay for the trip as another Christmas gift. (I think she tries to make it up to everyone because of Fizzy's drums of Satan... She bought a giant stuffed unicorn to to the twins and she allows Lottie to wear makeup at the neighbourhood's new years eve party).

_Ohmyfuckingod_ it's so cold out side. I'm glad I have Harry's gloves to be honest. I'm gonna call him. I fell weird. Why am I nervous about calling him ??? He should be the one feeling awkward, he is the one who got caught singing to a french baguette. Come on Louis, you're only calling him to give him his gloves back. I press the "call button" next to the stupid name he gave to the number. It's ringing. why do I want to hang up ?? I'm gonna hang up. Maybe he was just kidding. Maybe he doesn't want me to call. If he doesn't answer the next ring I'll hang up.

"Hello ?" _Shithitshit_

"Harry ? My beautiful savior I shall love and respect ? Really ?" Good job Louis, you're speaking.

"it's you !!" He sounds happy I guess. maybe he did want me to call.

"Uh yeah" really ? _uh yeah_??

"Mate, I realised, I don't even know your name.

_Louis William Tomlinson." Oh my god I'm hopeless. _w_ _hy_

He laughs. "OK Louis William Tomlinson... can I call you Louis ? Or maybe you want to call me Harry Edward Styles, it's alright with me..."  _H"_ _arry Edward styles_. What kind of name is that ? Styles ? Really ?

"No no I mean Louis it's fine, Harry... actually I was calling you because I still have your gloves...

_you can keep them, you know...

_What ? But they're yours !

_actually...

_What ?

_ well... I won't use them.

_what ?

_uhh they're too small for me." But they're too  _big_  for me.

"What ?

_what ?

_what ?

_Louis?

_what ?

_I didn't want you to be embarrassed you know...

_Oh god..

_You're alive !

_you know, I didn't want to upset you but they're too small for me too." Great job Lewis.

"Oh yeah, right. So maybe you _should_  give them back to me so somebody can actually uses them..

_Maybe I should.

_you want to come around the bakery and uh give me the gloves ?

_Yeah sure.

_when ?

_Right now ?

_Now ? yeah of course.

_But I mean not now because I need to take the bus and it's uh like 45minutes from here so...

_OK then.... uh see you in bit then.

_yeah...

_yeah..."

I hang up. WHY THE HELL WAS IT SO AWKWARD I MEAN LOUIS FOR GODS SAKE WHY SAY THE GLOVES ARE TOO SMALL HE SAW YOU PUT THEM ON GOD.

I'm stupid. I'm the most stupid person ever. But I have my pride. The lad is 16 and his hands are bigger than mine. Nope. Also _now_  ??? And the groceries ? I am a hopeless procrastinator. Sigh. I walk to the bus stop. It's fucking freezing. I can see the bus arriving. What if I don't go ? Maybe I can just text him and tell him I forgot I had things to do. Because I'm busy. I'm a busy young adult. I don't have time to give his gloves back to a 16 years old boy with yeti hands. Yeah I'll do that. But wait. I'm already in the bus. oh shit. Well now that I'm here, I sit next to a man doing cross words. it's nice and warm in the bus. The seat is not particularly comfortable but it's nice. It makes me want to sleep. I lay my forehead against the cold window. I like this bus, there's no radio playing and it's still pretty early so no really noisy car traffic yet. I close my eyes. I can see him and give him his fucking gloves back and go shopping after. I can totally do that. Yep.  
  
When I wake up, my phone is buzzing. _From Leeyum : maaaateee I'm saaad_

_To Leeyum : Zayn got bored of you ?_

_From Leeyum : not niiice. No he's visiting his family. I'm at hoommme I miss him._

_To Leeyum : You discusts me_

_From leeyum : you love me_

_To leeyum : I do._

_From leeyum : can I come over ?_

_To leeyum : nope sorry I'm out but tomorrow ?_

_From leeyum : but I miss youuuuu r u seeing zoeyyyy ???_

_To leeyum : no, groceries duty_

_From leeyum : okeyy I'll come tomorrow love you boobear_

_To leeyum : I hate you_  
  
The bus arrives to the stop I have to get off.

Well I think it's this one. I try to look at the houses to be sure but of course I don't recognize anything since everything is the same. I get up to get to the door through the glass I can see someone is waiting. Long legs and curly hair. What is he doing here ? Just before the bus stops I remember to take the gloves off. They're supposed to be too small, right. when he sees me, his face parts into a huge smile surrounded by his cheeks full of dimples. (Full of dimples ? _r_ _eally_  ?)

"Hi Louis !

_what are you doing here ? Shouldn't you be working ?" He flushes

_well... I forgot to tell you but I don't work today...

_And you still made me come all the here ?" He flushes harder

"I'm sorry Louis" he says my name like it's supposed to be pronounced, not the "lewis" I usually get when I meet new people. When I was younger I used to make people call me lewis because first I was tired of people mispronouncing my name and also (and mainly) because a dumb kid had told me that Louis was a stupid name. But then I discovered french language and France and Paris and learned that Louis was a french name. Since, I'm fighting to get people to say my name right.

"It's okay. I have an idea so you can make it up to me.

_Sure ! What do I do ?" His smile is so wide and his lips to pink. I wonder how many marshmallows you can stuff in there. Probably a hundred.

"I need help.

_I am you savior after all" he winks. ~~I am not blushing for god's sake Louis what the fuck~~

"Yeah yeah. Well I have to do groceries shopping but I won't be able to carry everything by myself. So maybe I could use your yeti sized hands ?

_of course we'd be glad to help you, me and my hands !" I rowl my eyes at him and he giggles.

We wait for the next bus, chatting, and when the bus arrives, we keep talking about music and football and school.

I learn that he supports the same team as I do, that he loves playing football but nobody ever wants him to play with them because he is extremely clumsy, however he is really good at playing Fifa and I dare him to beat me, because _I am_ the best at Fifa.

I learn that he listens to every kind of music and that he knows a lot of unknown indies bands. He used to be the lead singer in a band called White Eskimo but they split because one of them moved out and without him it wasn't the same.

I learn that he wants to study photography or cooking. He works at the bakery to pay for uni. He laughs way too much at my penis jokes and I pretend I don't find his lame jokes funny. I tell him I have four sister and he pities me because he already wants to throw himself out the window because of his only sister, but I can tell he loves her very much by the fond smile he has when he tells about her. He tells me her parents are divorced and his mum got married to a very nice man a few months ago.

When we get to the supermarket, he decides that we need a trailer and that, since he's the younger, he can sin where babies are supposed to and I find myself pushing him around under the desaprobating look of literally everyone. He laughs like a kid a lot ~~and so do I~~. he takes the list from me and refuses to give it back unless I agree to carry him on my shoulders so he can reach the the marshmallow flavoured hand soap on the top shelf. I'm pretty sure he can reach it if he just stands on the tip of his toe but no, _Monsieur_  Styles wants me to carry him. So, eventually, I do it. When it's time to pay, he tries to slip a  rainbow pen-eye-shadow-makeup-thingy between the eggs. I tell him he is crazy and that I'm never buying that but he pouts and whine and I don't know how he does that but I'm almost 100% sure his eyes fill with tears ~~so I buy it~~.

When we're out of the store, he takes three bags and refuses to let me carry one of them even though I only have one in my arms. "You already have the heavier one." He says. And it's not true but I don't care. At least I'm not too tired. We walk to my house and harry starts singing A song from Anastasia. It's my favourite Disney movie so I join him. We sing really loud until an old woman shout "shut up" from her window. We burst into laughs and have to stop walking so Harry can recover his breath.

"You sing really well... " he says.

"Well Simon cowel did tell me I had talent" I respond with a proud grin.

"No way !! You applied to Xfactor ?

_I did... last season.

_Why didn't they take you then ?

_He said it was missing something... that it wasn't powerful enough.

_well he's a dick. Your voice is amazing, Lou." I smile at the nickname.

"Nahh not good as yours... you never considered applying ?

_I actually did too but I was too young they said.

_You should try again !

_Well you too.

_No, one rejection was enough.

_if I try again, will you ?" He looks at me with his big eyes and a begging look. Sigh. He looks like a puppy asking for a candy. "Maybe..." I mumble. He whole face lights up. Dear god. "Deal ?!" You could literally replace his face by the smiley face :D right now.  "Deal...

_pinky promise ? He asks, holding his pinky up.

_how old are you Harold ?" He sticks his tongue out at me and winks. I can't believe I'm 19 years old and doing a pinky pro mess to a guy I barely know about applying to X-Factor. Hell what does it cost ? So I just curl my finger against his. "

_Will you, Louis William Tomlinson, apply to X Factor with me ?"

I sigh. "I will.

_And will you sing the best way you can ?

_I will.

_Good. We just did an UNbreakable Vow by the way." He winks, grabs his three huge bags and starts walking. Can someone remind me what am I doing with him ? Please.  
I roll my eyes and watch him. He doesn't even walk straight and barely stumble on literally every little bump on the ground. With his long legs, he just looks like a faon and I totally understand why nobody would take him on their football team. He would probably fall on the football every time it comes a little close to his giant feet. How can you have feet that big and still not have any balance ?

"How can you have feet that big and still not have any balance ?" I should try to have a surgery to get my brain moved further from my mouth. He answers very seriously "I have a ball bigger that the other" and winks at me. Is he even real ?  
  
Eventually we make it home without anything or anyone falling and breaking. He leaves the bags on the kitchen table. "Do you want me to help you unpacking ?

_Do you really think I'm going to do it all by myself ?" His cheeks turn red. So I add quickly "Hey, I was only joking, you don't have to of course, you already helped me a lot, thank you...

_No I don't mind, anyway my sister is at home and I have nothing else to do so...

_Great then !" We unpack the stuff we bough (well I bought) and it's done really faster than I thought. In one of the bag, i find the eye shadow pen and put it on my pocket. It's nearly 1pm when we finish and i can feel my stomach curl up on itself of hunger. I can hear it too. Harry laughs at the noise and asks "Do you want me to cook something ? I'm hungry too...

_Well you're the chef here ! If you don't mind of course !

_Are you kidding ? I love cooking and your kitchen is like paradize !" His eyes sparkle as he opens the drawers full of stuff I don't even know the use. he decides that the meal will be a surprise and kicks me out of the room. _He kicks me out of the room_. I remember mum asked me to do the laundry so I go upstairs do the laundry. Yes I, Louis William Tomlinson, am doing the laundry. But it's okay, it's for a good cause after all. It's for Paris.

After 30 minutes, I'm getting really hungry and an awfully delicious smell comes out of the kitchen. I remember I have still have the rainbow pen in my back pocket. I have an idea. As quietly as I can, I slip into the kitchen. Harry has tuned on the radio and is singing along with rhianna so he doesn't hear me. When I'm right behind him I take the pen and suddenly try to draw a penis on his cheek. He jumps and drops the tomato he was holding. "Louis !! You scared me !" I laugh. "Stay still.

_What are you drawing ?

_you'll see !

_Stooop !" He tries to fight but I may be smaller but I'm strong enough to keep his hands still and keep drawing on his cheek. Finally he manages to get out of my grip and take to pen out of my hands. It's now his turn to grab my hands and draw on my forehead. We still fight a little bit and we end up breathless, on the floor (we must've fell at some point) with each at least three rainbowy spakly penises on the body and a lot a rainbow sticky makeup stuff on our arms and clothes. We just lay on the cold floor for a couple of minutes, recovering our breath.

"Soooo... what did you cook ?

_Chicken Fajitas...

_We had things to do that ?

_Almost, but I made the tortillas from scratch. It was my first  time though, so I'm not sure it will be very good..

 

_well, smells amazing..." he turns his face to me and smiles "thanks."

OKay, time to get up.

"C'mon mate, get up, I'm hungry"  
  
It turns out that everything harry cooked is actually really good. Maybe the tortillas are are a little bit burnt on the sides but it's still really good. After lunch, I wash the dishes and he dries it. We chat a little bit more about music. When we're over, harry naturally falls on the couch. I do the same next to him and we find some old episodes of Friends. We sing along with the generique and say the quotes together, fighting to be the one who knows more. It's warm and the couch is comfortable so eventually, we fall asleep, each one on his side of the couch.  
  
I wake up around 5pm. The room is silent, even the TV is blank. One of us must've switch it off, but I can't remember. Harry is still curled up against the cushions. It's hot in here. I feel my cheeks burning from the temperature in the room and the nap. Maybe I should wake him up ? I can barely see his face, hidden behind his curls. I'm almost at the door to get some fresh air outside when I hear a whisper.

"What ?" I ask. There's no answer but I'm sure I heard something though. I come back closer to him. He is whispering something but i can't figure what it is. "Harry ? You awake ?" No answer but the quiet words I can't understand. Them I realise. He is sleep talking. Of course he is. _of fucking course_. I pull some curls off of his face. His cheeks are really read and his eyes very closed. His mouth is slightly open, barely moving from the whispers. "Harry ? Harry ? Wake up... c'mon wake up.

_whaa ?

_don't you have anything else to do ?" Eyes still closed he frowns. "Let me sleep Lou.

_No you gotta wake up now..." yeah cause mum is coming back soon and thank you, I don't want to ask why there's a stranger three years younger that me sleeping on our couch.

"Louuu let me sleeeep..." he tries to push awayy hand on his shoulder. But he probably falls back to sleep right away because his hand stays on mine. "Haz, my mum is coming back soon." His eyes open suddenly and he turns his face to me. "What ?

_my mum's com-

_no what did you call me ?" What ?

"Uh... Harry ?

_no you said something else.

_No.

_you did.

_I didn't.

_You did but ok.

_Good.

_Good...

_You should get up now or you won't sleep tonight.

_Are you treating me like a baby ?" He demands.

"Sorry but I have four little sisters..."  _ ~~and you look like a baby~~_

He smiles and straightens "What time is it ?

_Something around 5.

_Shit, I'm sorry... I should probably go. I'm sorry I stayed like all day, maybe you had something better to do...

_No, I had a really good time ! We should, I don't know... do that again !" 

He smiles widely. "Definitely !"

Harry gets up and stretches a little before putting on his coat. On the front door he waves at me "See you soon Louis !" I answer by a smile and wave back before going back inside. I watch him through the window, he looks like he could to fall any second. When I can't see him anymore, I go upstairs to my clean my face covered of rainbow makeup and change my clothes. When the girls and mum come back, she kisses me thank you for the groceries and the laundries. When she asks me how was my day, I say it was good and maybe I don't tell her about Harry.  
  


**Author's Note:**

> So Yeah, I hope you liked it :) 
> 
> I'm really bad at writing //smut// (elounor ew) sorry
> 
> And I wanted to say that Stan is hot in this story ;)...
> 
> next chapter really soon, I just have to edit it, it's still on my phone... 
> 
> Thank you again for readin :D


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